MIKE WAS SHOT! (In case you haven't heard)

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 10, 2011 9:01 PM, PST

I've missed you all.  I am amazed at the wonderful loving people who have rallied to our sides and sadly surprised at some that haven't. (and yes I'm counting even a loving smile from across the room)  Anyone out there who doesn't know what to say to someone who's going through HELL?  Well, here's the sentence.........memorize it............"I'm sorry to hear your having such a tough time"  There.  Was that so hard? I'm truly not bitter.  I"m just FULLY aware of who to count on in times of heartbreak.  And I thank every one of you who were there for us.  

I have been busy relinquishing my BOSS hat little by little back to Mike.  (He just told me he doesn't want it.....too bad).  He can work all day on a few days and some days just an hour or two. Depends on how effective the current pain killer is working. Apparently healing isn't as pain free as I thought it would be.  Healing is such a nice, positive word.  I didn't realize it could be accompanied by horrible pain that feels like a fireball is burning inside him. We still tell ourselves that it's a good thing.  Nerves that were dead are waking up.  Don't tell me differently please.  Gotta keep a positive thought.

So now to the most important item of business.  

Mike DID NOT shoot himself. It was an easy way for the police to try to close their case. But, the evidence did not add up.  Don't know why they were in such a hurry to question him.  They told me they would wait til he was clear headed. Well that happened at almost 4 weeks into it.  NOT ONE!!!! There was absolutely NOT ONE SPECK of gunpowder on Mike's skin or in his wound.  He had no burn marks from a gun being held right up to his back like the police thought he did.  He had no marks on his back at all. Just a slit in his skin where the bullet went in. So, ONCE AGAIN......NO MIKE DID NOT SHOOT HIMSELF IN THE BACK WITH A RIFLE!!!  

As Mike has no enemies that we're aware of, we're assuming it was a thief who broke into the truck while Mike was out paddle boarding.  He found Mike's gun and ammo and loaded it.  He came up behind Mike when he was about to get into the truck to leave.  Mike "felt" someone there and turned around to look. That's when he said he "heard the loudest sound I've ever heard and saw the brightest orange light".  I'm assuming that blinded him a bit and that's one reason he didn't see the guy.    

After Christmas we will finish up with the Sheriff Dept and see if they have ANY leads. We don't see that happening at this point.  Mike is going to counseling to deal with the trauma he has experienced.  He still jumps when I come up behind him. And he feels very vulnerable out in public.  I'm sure in time that will fade.  When something happens that makes him recall the events on that night, he shudders.  He's so grateful for the CENTIMETER that was between the bullet and his main artery.  Actually, that's what I say I'm grateful for.  He's grateful he was able to scoop up enough loose organs to bring with him to the hospital so he could be stitched back together. He's grateful his truck started that night, when it consistantly had problems doing so, so he could get to where the ambulance could find him.  He's grateful for AMAZING friends and family that came to his aid, his family's aid and helped keep the business going. He's thankful for each and every visit in the hospital, all the cards and best wishes that were given and sent through this website and by other means. We're grateful for those that refused to accept that Mike shot himself, even when we believed what the police told us.  We're grateful for those that thought he did do it, but didn't care.......and loved him anyways.  Those are just a few of the many blessings we've experienced.  That's was we focus on.

May the new year bring us all Peace and Health and a renewed appreciation for the little things.  The littlest thing that we will be grateful for is a tiny grandchild that will come in May to Britt and Brandon. The biggest thing that we continue to be grateful for is every breath that Mike gets to take, each and every day.

Love to all, 

Lorrie

SLEEP?

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 2011 6:02 AM, PST

I woke up AGAIN at 5 am today. I thought it was the middle of December for a few minutes.  Then I realized "WHEW, Thanksgiving is tomorrow".  But,  for the first time this year, I thought about Christmas. (and yes, I see the blessing in that)  But....... not the "Oh, It's The Most, Wonderful Time, Of The Year" thoughts on Christmas.......... More of the CRAP!!!!!  It's almost Christmas!!!! Kind of thoughts. These are the kind of thoughts that ONLY mothers have.  ( Am I right ladies?) So, this is going to sound sacrilege to a few men out there. But, as we Mother's know...........THEY DON'T GET IT!!!!!  They don't get ALL the details, errands, lists, errands, plans, errands, decorating and more errands that go into pulling off a beautiful wonderful holiday........for everyone else. 

Oh, I do enjoy Christmas morning. Even though the "excited" looks on my kids faces have always left a lot to be desired. I think anything short of a new car has always gotten a little smile and a thank you. They assure me later that they were jumping up and down inside upon opening the gift that was from their yearly list to Santa.   That they REALLY LOVED the Ninja Turtle, Power Ranger or Pokemon item that was the hit for that year.  But COME ON!!!!!!  I didn't run all around town for weeks to pull off the annual BEST CHRISTMAS EVER to have to sit on Christmas morning and IMAGINE my kids jumping up and down.  

It's a Doyle thing.  I'm sorry to the three women who have joined our ranks.  Your gonna search and try and anguish over what to get your husband. And IT WILL be the perfect gift. But you'll NEVER know it!!!!! Just get good at picturing them jumping up and down on the inside. Cuz that's ALL your getting.  Welcome to my life!!!!! Just be happy with your kids reactions on Christmas morning.  Oh, wait..........they're Doyle's too!!!!

Well, I guess this year is a great year to just simplify.  One stop shopping.   NEW CARS FOR ALL!!!!

Merry (almost) Christmas!!!! Yes I said it and it's not even Thanksgiving yet! (I checked)

Love to all, 

Lorrie

ROAD TRIP!

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 2011 8:08 PM, PST

It will sound so much more grand if I call this past weekend "The Doyle Family Reunion".  Brand and Britt weren't able to come here this week so we all went there. And, I have a Christmas Card photo to prove it!!!!

We had plenty of Hudson time.  Well, one can never get enough of that little angel, but we had LOTS of fun with him.  Now, if full disclosure is given, I would have to reveal that I'm the LAST one that he wants to come to.  I like to think it's because he thinks his mom and dad are leaving if I"m there. Since I babysat him in Sept for 12 days. But, I don't care. I will wear this kid down until he at least ranks me in his top ten. I now FULLY understand the Grandparent bribery game.  Cookies got me kisses and a new movie got me a kiss and a hug!!! 

Mike was in HEAVEN being with all his kids, their wives and Prince Hudson. It was healing and wonderful and very tiring for him.  We will have a very crazy exhausting month starting tomorrow.  We will be busy playing Santa for anyone who wants a Letterman Jacket.  I will try to make sure I don't work him too hard.  But he's so darn helpful when he's there. 

So, Happy Thanksgiving to All!!!  We wish you hearts full of love and bellies full of turkey. 

Lorrie

EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2011 9:08 PM, PST

Well I was finally voted Employee of the Month!  This honor was bestowed upon me by my husband / boss.  He claimed it was because of my awesome sales tactics.  I couldn't help but think he had an ulterior motive in mind. Sadly, not what one might think. He had a craving all right and it's name was Prime Rib.  He took the kids and I out to dinner to celebrate.  Not sure why he got to pick the restaurant. But, happy to see him eat so I'm not complaining.  

I had a job for a year once at a Carl's Jr.  I truly deserved the Employee of the Month award there many times over.  Seriously.  I did not see any other employee follow all the rules like I did. Or make the food per corporate specs EVERY time like I did.  Or do the closing time clean up til every last hair and cockroach was erased from the premises. LIKE I ALWAYS DID!!!  Why then was I fired?  

A new manager came in to take over.  He listened to a lie an employee told about me.  (Don't know what I did to make HER mad....maybe she wasn't a fan of sarcasm).   The allegation was that I kissed my boyfriend OVER THE FRONT COUNTER TOP!  I happen to know that Carl Karcher himself would be mortified at such an infraction.  Therefore,  that is something I would NEVER be caught dead doing!!!   It never happened and the new boss never even asked me if it was true.  They actually were too lame to fire me. They just cut my hours back to ZERO!!!  I was SO embarrassed that someone would think I would do that. I couldn't even talk about it without crying while trying to defend myself.  I just decided to move on to the next job. 

So, this Employee of the Month award is long overdue.  (If I say so myself). I deserve it and I'll take it!  If it comes with a trophy I'll display it on my mantel.  The good thing about this job is there are no rules to break.  I can do what I want, when I want to do it.  It doesn't pay all that well. But the ONE great bonus is I can kiss my boyfriend at work whenever I want.  I could EVEN do it over the counter if there was one and not get into ANY trouble.   Now THAT'S my idea of a great job.

FROM HERE TO ETERNITY - 30 Years & Counting

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 2011 11:55 PM, PST

Why do some days feel like an eternity and others pass by in an instant? Can someone explain that to me?  How can 43 days in the hospital feel like it drug on SOOOO long yet the beginning of our 30 years together seems like it was only yesterday? ( ok, maybe the day before yesterday) We have had our highs and Heaven knows we've had our lows. But we keep chugging along like the little engine that could.

So these days, I"m more the Engine and Mikes the Caboose. (which is odd since he HAS no caboose) .  I"m not use to his slower pace yet. He has to ask me to slow down. I look at him and my heart just breaks. It hurts me deeply to see his broken body and hear him comment on how horrible he feels about how it looks. I tell him it doesn't bother me. A fact he doesn't believe. I wouldn't believe him either if the tables were turned. But, it's not like the glue that holds us together has ever been our amazingly fit bodies and supermodel great looks. So, just one more imperfection added to the temple that houses his spirit.

We worked all day today. Not how I EVER pictured a 3 Decade Celebration would be. So Tahiti will have to wait. Oh no, that's not where we were going to go. We weren't able to firm up a plan yet but that was not in our budget this year anyway.   But I will still dream of getting there one day. We've got eternity to save up after all. 

So Happy Anniversary Mr. Doyle. Thank you for Brandon, Tyler, Justin, Tanner and Samantha. Thank you for all the laughs and even some of the tears. 

Love to all, 

Lorrie

ATTEMPTING NORMALLCY

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 12, 2011 11:34 AM, PST

We are trying to bring in some semblance of a normal life.  We still need to deal with police reports, insurance adjusters, medications of all kinds and making a living. It's nice to know that there IS a light at the end of this particular tunnel.  Not the kind you "go towards" (where your never seen again Pre-2nd Coming). It's the kind that gives you hope that there are sunnier, happier days around the bend.

Today Mike has a Bro-Date.  He's trepidacious about leaving his re-discovered comfort zone (the couch) and entering out into the Cold Cruel World without me. I'll trust that Larry Sewell can take good care of him for an hour or two. He just needs to pretend it's one of his grandkids.

Advice for the Care and Feeding of Mike Doyle:

1)  If he says he has to go potty...DO NOT MAKE HIM WAIT!!!  He means it and you DO NOT want that mess on your hands!

2) If he's hungry and insists on being fed, please note that he is temporarily "allergic" to beans.  Less internal bowels and intestines (which were recently EXTERNAL) cause MORE propulsion, not less.

3) Don't chastise him for eating too much candy.  It's not candy, it's MEDS. 

4) Enjoy any smile that may appear on his face. Give him encouragement for this behavior. We want to see it become a habit.

 

Love to all,

Lorrie

FAMILY FRIENDS

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 2011 8:31 PM, PST

Hello Folks, 

Well Mike isn't the only one that has a new perspective on what's most important or enjoyable these days.  He does like to stare at Sam and I occasionally.  I think he thinks we're both going to disappear.  He likes to look at me and then ask whoever is close by "Isn't she beautiful?"  If this occurs when your around, you should just agree with him.  You won't be held accountable for a little white lie.  No one has said "no she's not" yet.  For that, I am grateful.

We are both less shy about hugging whoever is up for it.  There are a lot of GREAT huggers out there.  I love being with my family and I also love watching other families interact.  Tonight we were treated to a delicious, fun dinner at Chevys with our extended family, The Pilchers. Yummy food, great conversation along with enjoying watching the comraderie between our families.  We are so happy with how Justin has become such a part of their clan. 

Mike spent a few hours at work today.  He won't be logging in any over time that's for sure.  He is suppose to be sitting and doing what I tell him. (oh, he's loving that) He does pretty good for the most part.  A few times he actually acted like he knew more about HIS job than I do!!!!!! Can you believe that?  The NERVE!!!!!!

Love AND HUGS to all, 

Lorrie

MIKES BIG DAY OUT

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 2011 10:07 PM, PST

Mike and I headed to see a new Doctor today.  He can go to Sutter for emergencies (which he did THREE TIMES THIS YEAR!!!!), but insurance won't cover a regular appointment. We needed to start Mike in the Mercy system.  He got SO LUCKY to be assigned a doctor we both REALLY like.  Let's just say, this guy gets MAJOR points for showing no reaction when they had this conversation:

Dr: So why are you here today?

Mike: Well I have this spot on my head that I need to see if it's skin cancer (it's not)

Dr: Is there anything else?

Mike: Oh, you probably need to see this gunshot wound on my side.

He's going to see him again in two weeks to check on how his different meds are working and how his healing is coming along.

After that we went and got a protein loaded Jamba juice and bought a bucket size container of protein from GNC.  Time to get some healthy calories in this man.  

I then decided to take Mike to get his first Pedicure. His feet were so GNARLY from the hospital. It was either spring for a pedicure or continue to watch the dry "scales" on his feet leave a trail as they fell off throughout the house.  He loved every bit of it except the "tickle- torture" part.  When she was scrubbing the bottoms of his feet he couldn't stop laughing. He was complaining how he could NEVER do it again cuz it was the most horrible thing ever!!.  I ask "really Mike, your feet getting tickled is the worst thing that's ever happened to you"? I joined in the pedicure and got a beautiful mermaid-esque turquoise blue called. "Catch Me In Your Net".  Mike opted for "a la naturel".

We had some lunch and then went to Mike's first session with our counselor. She's the one that Sam and I have been seeing.  He was trying to get into see her after he was assaulted at the lake by a nut job back in July. He'd been having nightmares about the guy clear up until he was shot. So, now this new episode obviously adds to the necessity of Mike getting some extra help.

Love to all, 

Lorrie

"STATELY" DIAGNOSIS

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 4, 2011 10:22 AM, PDT

I'm going to give a prize to the first person who gets my title!!! Oh, it's something big all right. It's a basket full of gently used items which include, but are not limited to, the following:  An EXTREMELY comfortable egg crate pad that has only been slept on a week, 3 paper clips that were confiscated from me when I took paperwork in to ask Mike work questions, (these can apparently be used to gouge out eyes, pierce others eardrums, pick locks for an escape or actually hold papers together in an orderly fashion - you decide), Mike's Squishy pillow which has GOT to be infiltrated with every possible hospital germ available.  I'm thinking this would be a great learning experience for children of all ages. They could identify the various strains of infectious matter under a microscope (does not include microscope or batteries). Lotion that Mike bought on the internet some months ago after seeing it advertised on Donald Trumps "Apprentice" show.  It has been confirmed by me (repeatedly) and many others that it smells like a URINAL CAKE.  Too many other exciting gifts to name!!!!!  Good Luck!!!!

Ok, this story is ONE OF MY FAVORITES. If you do not laugh, there is something wrong with you!!!!!! (That's how confident I am!)

Mike's appearance while at "Crazy Acres" could not be construed as him looking like the epitome of mental health.  He is VERY thin, not clean shaven, rocked back and forth a bit while sitting to deal with the pain and was at first wandering the halls in a hospital robe.  Other "guests" might possibly have wondered to themselves "What am I doing here????? I don't look as LOONEY as THAT guy!"  

Well he pretty much was just hanging out from last Friday night until Monday morning when the REAL (Paid by the State of Calif) Doctor showed up.  He met with her for a half hour. She had read his chart from Sutter and decided he would NOT be released and would be best served by staying 14 more days at the Cuckoo's Nest Resort and Spa. When Mike called me he was so disheartened. 

So It was now up to Larry Ivancich and I to give a pep talk to Mike while visiting him on Monday afternoon.  I brought a list of people that would be be some of Mike's support group when he went home.  Complete with Dr. appt times and phone numbers that the powers that be, could double check if they wanted. I told Mike he HAD to perk up when the Dr. came in. He couldn't appear to be so "mental".  That the Dr. was suppose to be assessing his mental capacity but the way he was carrying himself physically was going to hinder that.  We said he had to say how EXCITED he was to go home and was SO HAPPY for all the people that had helped him so far and was going to be there when he got home.  Being PERKY, OPTIMISTIC, EXCITED and ANIIMATED at his next meeting with the same doctor on Tuesday was going to get him checked out of there sooner.  

So, that brings us to Tuesday morning's meeting with the same doctor. Mike apparently did Larry and I proud with following our instructions. BECAUSE SHE NOW DIAGNOSED HIM AS BI-POLAR because of the difference in the two days!!!!!!  Monday "Depressive", Tuesday "Manic". That's funny now, but on Tuesday I just wanted to grab the lapel of her white coat and tell her what an idiot she was!!!!!!!

Wednesday a new doctor showed up. He gave a new diagnosis.  Mike is not Bi-Polar. 

Hence Mike's comment to the "judge" at his hearing "I feel I've gotten great care while here, but feel I would be better served using the resources available to me at home"

Love to all, 

Lorrie

CUCKOO'S NEST

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 4, 2011 9:48 AM, PDT

My impression of "Crazy Acres":  

I am NOT exaggerating.............it was a "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" kind of place!!!!!  My concern since last Friday was that Mike was going to be hurt by someone else that was currently residing there. All KINDS of people from various backgrounds and situations.  Not the types we usually hang with shall I say.

Mike would share the pieces of info he knew from "guests" stories and it was SO sad.  The nicest guy in the place had swallowed razor blades to try to kill himself.  His first roommate was a also quite pleasant.  He gave Mike advice on getting off his meds. He suggested a more holistic, natural way to avoid pain would be OPIUM!!!! It didn't seem to have gotten this guy very far in life.  Another guy had a "psychotic break" one day and was having a TERRIBLE screaming argument with himself.  He eventually was taken out in chains by the cops.  I think any teenager (or adult) that is thinking about doing drugs or is currently on them should spend a night or two at this place.  It's an eye opener to say the least.

Mike said yesterday that there is a guy in there that HAS to be a serial killer. I said "if he's a serial killer, then they'd have him locked up somewhere else"  He says "I don't know if they know it yet"  I said "Oh, so with YOUR expertise you've diagnosed him?"  He said "Yes, and I wrote it up and snuck it in his chart".

The final straw for me was when Mike went from feeling uneasy to very unsafe.  He got a new roommate after the poster boy for Opium was released.   After he was there a short time he "introduced" himself to the current "inmates" by yelling  "IF YOU DON'T #%@@&$**# SHUT UP I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!"  We decided to get his room changed after that.  Call ME crazy, but I don't think that's the person you want next to you in the middle of the night!!!!

Love to all, 

Lorrie

WHO'S "SOMEONE"?????

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 4, 2011 9:12 AM, PDT

I'll reveal who the special "someone's" were from my blog yesterday.

I had to go to a hearing yesterday to see if Mike was considered a danger to himself.  They were determining if they should hold him any longer or let him out into society.  The "judge" started the official proceedings with "Mike Doyle, we are holding this hearing to assess if you are a danger to others"  The worker on her right said "Oh, wait a minute, that should be a 1, not a 2" and changed the paper.  Then the "judge" said "Mike Doyle, we are holding this hearing to assess if your a danger to yourself"  

It was SO tough hearing various doctors opinions that were based on false information or little information.  They read through the psychiatrists notes from the hospital. These were taken while Mike still was believing what the Detective convinced us was truth.  He was trusting that his lack of any memory of what happened would reveal itself eventually. They read the notes from the first Dr. he saw at "Crazy Acres".  Who after reading his hospital chart on Monday, decided he should stay for up to 14 more days.  SERIOUSLY.......if he wasn't nuts coming in...........that would insure his insanity before getting out!!!!!  They asked Mike what he thought. Simply put, he had absolutely no desire to hurt himself and had never attempted to do so. He also praised the efforts of his current staff but felt he would be better served at this point to continue at home. (Nicely played).  

Then they asked me what I thought. I had previously been warned to only answer questions and not say too much.  The problem with that is the "judge" said "Lorrie, what do you think?"  She did not realize how easily the flood gates COULD HAVE unleashed a rush of unending explanations, thoughts, concerns, and feelings with possibly some sarcasm thrown in!!!!  She was spared this, as I kept it under 2 minutes.  (If you don't believe me, I've got it on tape)   I told her about the support team we had in place to give him all the help he needed to continue his road to wellness. 

They determined that he could be discharged.  They asked me to wait out in the hall.  They came out a bit later and said I may as well leave and come back at 3:00 cuz he wouldn't be ready with meds and paperwork until then. (This was a little after one).  I hesitated getting up and said "I'm afraid to leave and then come back and your going to tell me you've changed your mind and I can't have him"  She said that at that point, it was illegal and the proper form was in his chart saying so. I said "Ok, please tell him I'm going to pick up his daughter and will be back."

So, I went home to pick up Sam who was SO excited at the news.  The three of us went to one of our favorite restaurants for lunch and then home.  Justin was waiting for his Dad which Mike loved.  He'd brought two of Mike's favorite things. Milk and Pepsi.  We got him situated on the couch, where he could not have been happier. Shani and her brother Blake joined us later.  Movie night had officially begun.

Love to all, 

Lorrie

THE MORNING AFTER

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 4, 2011 8:43 AM, PDT

Hello Friends, 

Oh, that title just cracks me up a little. This is ONLY referring to waking up next to Mike after a LONG REST FILLED night. 

I decided my current favorite way to look at Mike is in the morning light that's peeking through the curtain of our bedroom window.  The shadows hide how pale and thin he looks. The covers are up to his chin and I can pretend that the ugly wound hidden underneath doesn't exist. I can imagine for a few minutes that the nightmare never happened. 

Then of course the thoughts start to creep in.  These include, but are not limited to:   Gratitude for another day of healing that has been given, wondering when all my questions will be answered regarding Mike's case, assessing how my 2 younger children are coping and how this is affecting them, what is the LEAST possible amount of work I can do and still stay in business enough to pay my bills, and do we need milk.

I'll just stop the rambling here. Suffice it to say, my mind is firing in a million directions at all times.  (And we know how efficient that makes a person!! haha)

Mike was SOOOO happy to be warm and cozy sitting with our family last night watching a movie. (RED with Bruce Willis, Mike's twin)  Funny movie. A little hard for Mike to see with all the guns.  I think we'll stick to some comedies for awhile that are bullet free.  

His last bed was plywood with a cheap egg crate foam on top. The one before that was the 30 Thousand Dollar hospital bed that he could NEVER get comfortable in.  He wondered how a bed that cost SO much, could offer so little????!!!!  Last night was a little preview of what the Celestial Kingdom might be like.  A bed that is just the right amount of snuggly with a pinch of support, AND a beautiful woman by his side.  Who could ask for more?  Certainly not him!!!

He's still sleeping.  He woke up for a short bit in the night.  Calling out,   "Nurse?' "Nurse?". "No nurses Mike, just me"  He asks "Lorrie, my wife?"  Yes dear.  He says "Oh, good".  He took some Melatonin and went back to sleep shortly after.  I'm going to have to declare this night on his behalf "THE BEST SLEEP EVER!".  Hopefully I didn't miss anything important as I was flooding the room with my drool!!!! 

Love to All, 

Lorrie

HOME ! ! !

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 2011 8:12 PM, CDT

HOME!!!

All I'm going to take the time for today is:

Mike's HOME!!!!!

MUMS THE WORD

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 2011 12:37 PM, CDT

Hello Everyone, 

Well, what I will say is.............I can't say much............my opinions of his recent stay have been kept to myself (ok, mostly) I'm just paranoid enough to think that someone may be reading this, who knows someone, who'll tell someone something I might not want someone to hear (oh you know who I'm talkin 'bout). So, I will give an update as soon as I can. 

His current stay has been so helpful. He's gotten WAY better sleep than 
at the last location. The food has been yummy and the Nurses and other workers are genuinely happy to help care for their patients. 

So that's it for now. 

Love to all,
Lorrie